Have you worried about your mother or father’s health recently? As they age, you might notice some worrisome signs that their home needs might soon outpace their ability to achieve independence. While you’d like to stop in and offer assistance when you can, your busy schedule, job, and life make it hard to remain consistent with this massive responsibility.
This situation is not uncommon throughout the U.S. It typically ends with your senior loved one agreeing to a home care company, nursing home, in-home care, or an assisted living facility. That said, older adults can be stubborn in the face of such a drastic-seeming change – many shudder at the thought of such a role reversal.
Often, your parent might feel insecure in these situations, even while they refuse to leave home and reject outside help. You don’t want to exacerbate the problem but instead to alleviate it. You try to remind your loved one why this decision is in everyone’s best interests – even if it seems scary at first.
So, how do you get them to agree to a choice that will promote their health, wellbeing, and overall life? Our team at Crystal Home Care in Illinois has outlined a list of ways to help you reach a compromise that works best for everyone and puts your loved one in a better place.
Work Through Apprehension Together
Trusting an agency with your health might appear intimidating at first, and your loved one might have difficulty admitting they need help after so many years of independence. Both you and your parent might have fear about care at home or assisted living, and that’s okay. While a new professional care provider can act as a partner and close friend, this relationship will take time to build naturally.
Part of overcoming fear has to do with visualizing whatever scares us. Instead of forcing an outcome, work through the fears in whatever form feels healing. Taking the time to talk about all this with your parent, even making lists about pros and cons, takes the whole process out of the abstract and might start to make it look more feasible.
Make the decision theirs. The more controlling you become, the less likely your loved one will seek or accept care providers. Give them time and space but implore them to consider the option independently so that they will feel that it’s their decision.
Many children of the elderly feel discouraged and frustrated when they meet rejection from their parents. Just try to empathize with their situation. Make them feel heard, after which you can share your perspective. Instead of being condescending or disrespectful, focus on communicating your concerns for their livelihood and wellbeing.
Remember, It’s a Collaborative Effort
Let your parent control this discussion about entering a home care company. Don’t enter these discussions with the intention to fight or argue, as this will cloud your judgment and make the process less productive overall. Instead, think of the discussion as a “dance”: you want each party’s movements to count, and you need to work in tandem to arrive at a comfortable solution.
Some strategies to follow include:
- Reset the situation, controlling your expectations around the gap between what you think your parent needs and what they want.
- Keep a journal of their changing care needs. Having physical, detailed evidence makes it easier to bring up objective reasons why a home care company would suit your loved one.
- Use these strategies to include your siblings or other loved ones involved with this decision. The more collaborative you make the experience up front, the less jarring it will seem to your parent.
Consider the Costs – More than Just Financially
Your loved one may take on severe risks if they continue to live at home alone. You and your younger family members might take on more costs of your own to constantly check in on your parent, and likewise, you might become wrought with daily worry. In a worst-case scenario, your parent might suffer a fall and become hospitalized for some time. Some falls can even prove fatal.
Although it’s impossible to fully prepare for a fall or similar event, you can take significant steps toward reducing that risk and associated outcomes. Hiring a professional home care company allows your loved one to maintain the independence of living alone – with a bit of an extra safety net.
Naturally, not all falls result in tragic outcomes, but why shoulder the risk? Recovery can take a long time, especially for those who have become more fragile with age. Likewise, after falling once, subsequent falls are more likely – and a fractured hip or leg bone can set everyone back financially.
Leaving your mother and father alone is not worth the problematic outcomes, and you should take the time to explain these risks to your parent.
While there is no foolproof way to initiate this conversation, we hope we’ve opened a few new doors you can enter to make the process more seamless. Remember, solving this dilemma boils down to a conversation you’re having, and you may need to employ some tactics – even if just some empathy – to entice your loved one into choosing a home care company for themselves.
Hiring a home care company allows you and your parent to feel at peace while relying on a home care company’s superior organizational skills and planning. Caregivers should take extensive notes and provide excellent communication every step of the way, allowing you to take the back seat. Enable the professionals to do what they do best.
Multiple types of home care programs exist, allowing you and your loved one to customize the experience to meet everyone’s needs best.
Are you ready to get started with a home care company that has years of experience helping seniors like your parent? Call our team at Crystal Home Care today at (708) 535-4300 to start the process. We’ll work alongside you and your loved one to generate a treatment plan that makes everyone happy. We serve individuals and families in Chicago, IL, and its suburbs.